Ep. 01: The Power of Persistence - Whitney Duncan

Ep. 01 The Power of Persistence - Whitney Duncan

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In this inaugural episode of Happiest Hour, my guest is recording artist, songwriter and reality TV star, Whitney Duncan. You may recognize Whitney from her single, “Skinny Dippin’” or from her appearances on Survivor, Nashville Star and The Amazing Race!

Whitney shares about the power of persistence in both her personal and work life. We also cover:

• Being multi-passionate and finding balance between a variety of interests

• How to navigate the different career phases of a professional musician

• We unexpectedly took a deep dive into our family planning stories — including IVF struggles and pregnancy loss.

If you watch the live video of this episode on YouTube, you’ll notice that Whitney is pregnant! Her little bundle of joy came a few weeks early and she is now living the full-on mom life!

Follow along Whitney’s journey on her Instagram and listen to her music on Spotify.

Don’t Forget the Recipes!

We paired two delicious recipes with this episode. Grab them below. Cheers!

Hack for Super Creamy Hot Chocolate

Classic Roasted Root Vegetables - Perfect for your holiday table!

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How the Happiest Hour was Born

Catch the Trailer…

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Over the summer, I had the opportunity to “take over” the Instagram page of one of my favorite lifestyle entrepreneur’s, Landyn Hutchinson of Living with Landyn. For one day, I shared what it’s like in a day-in-the-life of a professional singer/songwriter, my favorite life hacks, recipes, books, and most importantly (to me), inspirational people and organizations that have transformed my life.

I received a bunch of DM’s on my Instagram page asking me for more information and recommendations. I mean… what?! I’m a working singer/songwriter mom having a little fun playing “Landyn” for a day. I did NOT expect people to turn to me for advice on life or lipgloss.

One of the most popular questions I received from that day was: how do you foster such a strong sense of community in your life as an adult, and how can I find ways to transform my own life?

Sometimes social media can feel super gross and self-indulgent to me, but it felt so comfortable and fun to shine a spotlight on other people in my life. Then to go a step further and realize that by sharing about who and what inspired me was actually helping other people… whew! That felt fulfilling!

That’s when it hit me.

I took inventory about what was so meaningful to me about that Instagram takeover day. Authentic connection, fostering community, fun, food, drinks… well, heck. That sounds like one of my favorite things: happy hour!

“But better,” I thought to myself. What’s better than happy hour?

The Happiest Hour!

The idea for the Happiest Hour was conceived.

Lauren Lucas with her first guest, recording artist and reality TV star, Whitney Duncan.

I hope you enjoy this inaugural season of the Happiest Hour. It’s a space to find inspiration and feel authentically connected with the world around you. I interview the most inspiring people in my life in the fields of music, film, wellness, and creative entrepreneurship. You’ll find a shot of humor and a dash of down-to-earth grit in each episode. My guests and I don’t shy away from real talk! Plus, we pair a delicious beverage and an easy weekend recipe with each episode. You can find the recipes and more information about my guests right here on my website.

Find the Happiest Hour on your favorite podcast platform or watch the live interview on YouTube.

The trailer is available NOW! Click the buttons below to enjoy. ↓

Did you Miss the Takeover?

If you missed my Living with Landyn Instagram Takeover, you can still find it on the “LWL” highlight on my Instagram page! Just click below. ↓

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The Latest on Happiest Hour…

3 Things Every Songwriter Should Know About Using Imagery

The other day, I was preparing for the next lesson in my songwriting class at Belmont University. The lesson was about using description and imagery. I was reminded of something my friend, Jamie Floyd, shared with the audience at the Bluebird Cafe about songwriting at our recent show together: the more detailed and personal the lyrics, the more universal the message for the listener. That might sound counterintuitive, but it's true.

Image by my friend and former band mate, Clint McKoy!

One way to make a song’s message universal is by using imagery. Read on and you’ll see what I mean. Here are 3 things songwriters should remember about using imagery in their lyrics:

1. Make the details personal: The steady “tap tap tap” sound of summer rain dripping out of the gutter is the backbeat of my backyard. Water pools in this one little dip of our flagstone patio. It doesn’t stand a chance. High-pitched squeals and the faint smell of rubber come crashing through the backdoor as my toddler’s yellow boots aim right for the puddle: splat!

   In my head, I am seeing exactly the way my backyard looks after it rains. I see where the gutter hangs on the corner of my house, and where my son’s favorite puddle forms on our back patio.

   You have no clue what my backyard looks like, and you don’t have to in order to make a connection to that image. While I’m describing my backyard after a summer rain, your brain is likely envisioning an experience you’ve had about summer rain. When we draw from details in our own lives, our experiences transfer to the mind’s eye of our listener. Our audience inputs imagery from their own life or imagination.

2. Use poetic license: In Pat Pattison’s book, Writing Better Lyrics, he warns songwriters not to let reality get in the way of the truth. Yes, drawing from our own lives can help us jumpstart a song idea, but we don’t have to tell every detail exactly the way it happened. The truth lives in the universal emotion of our human stories. Allow your imagination to wander. Have some fun! If it’s better for the song to make the car a little red Rodeo with Texas plates (who caught my 90’s Collin Raye reference?! 🙋🏻‍♀️), but in reality, it was a Honda Civic, go with the candy apple red Rodeo!

3. You can train your brain: My mom recently reminded me that one of my greatest music teachers growing up, Dr. Dick Goodwin, told her years ago that people think songwriting is an innate talent, but in fact, it is absolutely a learned skill. You can get better at using imagery in your writing simply by practicing. Here’s an idea: after you wake up and get your first cup of coffee, set a timer for 5 minutes. Think of a childhood memory and describe it in as much detail as possible. Allow your language to show rather than tell. When time is up, stop writing. The next morning, choose a different childhood memory and do it again. Then do it again the next day. And again the next. And the next. Pretty soon, your brain will become accustomed to looking for the details more quickly and with greater ease.

As listeners, we all know that incredible feeling when a song speaks directly to us; like somehow the songwriter must have jumped in our skin and lived our life when we weren’t looking. As songwriters, we yearn to write songs that make people feel that way. Keeping your imagery detailed and personal is a great way to aim at the heart of your listener.

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How to Write a Song When You’re Out of Ideas

If you are a songwriter, then you have a problem.

Relax. I’m not talking about Hemingway-sized alcoholic tendencies or crazy dark mood swings (although, many creative writers have those problems, as well). Your problem as a writer is a blank page. Our job as songwriters is to take the essence of an idea, marry it with emotion and make it rhyme in 15 to 20 lines of lyric.

So, how are we going to fill that page?

In my experience with co-writing and talking to my peers in the songwriting community, it seems no one finds inspiration the same way. Some people start with a lyric idea and don’t even consider melody until the lyric is written. Others vibe out on a melody and let nonsense words or syllables fall out until they turn into actual words. There are countless other ways. Let’s look at a few of my favorites.

I’m going to share with you 4 ways to find the inspiration you need to write your next song, even if you don’t have any ideas.

1. Make inspiration, don’t wait for it. Stop the scroll! Yup, you heard me. Turn off the smart phones, TV and laptop. Plan 30 minutes, an hour, 3 hours - whatever you’ve got. Discipline yourself to stay focused on creativity for that amount of time. What happens in this time doesn’t have to be active writing. In fact, it’s probably not going to be. The flip side of turning off all distractions is that you sit in a quiet room with an empty head waiting for brilliance to strike. If that’s your strategy, you’ll likely be waiting or a long time. Then, you’ll just get frustrated coming up with nothing.

   In the time you’ve set aside for yourself, do things that inspire creativity. You might strum your guitar, or brain dump into a journal. Perhaps you already have a lyrical hook burning a hole in your brain. So, maybe you take 30 minutes to write as many rhyming couplets as you can think of for that hook.

   If you do any of these things during your distraction-free creative time, then that would be a good day’s work. You’re teasing out inspiration. The more you set aside quiet time for creative play, the more often inspiration will appear.

2. Read. Let’s be honest, there are no new ideas. We’re all subconsciously “borrowing” from everything we’ve ever heard or experienced and putting our own spin on it. We need input in order to have output. A former publisher of mine used to tell me, “You can’t write if you don’t read.”

   Tom Douglas (“The House that Built Me,” “Little Rock”) told me that he reads the news, the Bible and a piece of fiction every day as part of his daily writing process.

   Hey, if it’s good enough for Tom Douglas, it’s good enough for me.

3. Dare to suck. This might be the most important step. It took me years to feel comfortable opening up to my co-writers with ideas or lines that weren’t quite perfect. Even now when I write by myself, I have trouble letting everything flow out without major self-editing. At this point in the writing process, it’s just a big ol’ brainstorm. And here’s the thing about brainstorming: there is no such thing as a bad idea. When you say (or write down) everything that’s on your mind during brainstorming, one of three things will happen: 

   1. Ideas build upon each other. Whatever you say will likely spark a new idea in yourself or your co-writer.

   2. Sometimes, you just need to get the mental cobwebs out in order to get to the good stuff.

   3. You’ll solve your problem and finish your song.

   I can’t promise you a hit song, or even a cut, but I can promise you the sooner you dare to suck, the better writer you’ll be.

4. Quit. Sometimes a song just won’t behave. The momentum dies, you’re frustrated and the meter or rhyme isn’t feeling quite right. Don’t force anything. Just quit! Not for good — for a few hours or maybe for the day. Go grab lunch. Take a walk. Movement is a great way to get yourself unstuck.

   Sometimes we’re just too close to the idea to see how the story should go. When your brain is fried, pushing through will likely just make you more frustrated and you won’t get any further. Or worse, you’ll start phoning it in just to make the line rhyme or the phrase fit. Give your brain the mental break it needs and come back fresh. You’ll likely see the problem and be able to fix it quickly when you revisit the song.

Every writer finds inspiration a little bit differently, and often no one finds it the same way twice. Do you have any tried and true ways of finding inspiration to write and teasing out new ideas? Let me know in the comments. I want to hear them!

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How to Make Friends as an Adult

I was newly divorced and super lonely. I suddenly found myself with half of my friend group — and most of them were married and had young children. Even though we were in our late twenties/early thirties at the time, our lifestyles were very different.

It also turns out that when you get divorced, you go from a double income family to a single income real quick. At that time, I was searching for my next publishing deal and working a “civilian job,” as I like to call it, so chasing my dreams became even more dire. Life literally forced me to make one of two choices: curl up in a ball and shrivel into darkness (okay, that sounds dramatic, but it felt pretty dramatic at the time) OR put one foot in front of the other and try some new things. For some reason (the likely reason being therapy), I chose the latter.

Networking and meeting new people is the name of the game in the Music Business, so I had some familiarity with the process. Still, it’s hard making new friends and finding community as an adult.

A few weeks ago, I received DM’s on Instagram during my Living with Landyn takeover about some things I mentioned on stories. During a portion of the takeover, I shared about hobbies, books and counseling/coaching that has been truly transformative for me. I mentioned that I joined the Nashville Rowing Club for a short a while. I talked about discovering The Estuary, a spiritual healing center where I continue to take classes that have helped me grow and transform in ways I never thought possible. Some folks wanted to know how I got so involved in my community; how do I find people and organizations that really light me up? Some people said they had recently moved to a new town and were having trouble plugging in and finding good resources.

Whew. I’ve been in your shoes. But I wasn’t exactly sure how to answer these questions at first. “Just get out there and go for it,” seems like an annoying thing to say. If you’re having trouble plugging in, it’s probably because you already are “getting out there” and aren’t finding what you want. As a toddler mom, I’m reminded that we used to make friends by literally walking up to each other and asking, “Will you be my friend?” It just doesn’t feel that simple now that we’re adults.

Giving advice can be tricky business. I can, however, share my experience and maybe something will resonate. So, I thought about what was it that was so impactful to me about how I built community around myself that has been so life-changing. A few things dawned on me and I will share them with you.

Here are 4 ways to make friends as an adult:

1. Get curious. When I found myself in a huge life transition, I chose to get curious. There was nothing and no one holding me back. I got to make all the rules in my life with complete autonomy. So, I got curious about how I could shake up my old routines, what inspires me and what I’d always wanted to try but never felt like I had the time or gave myself the chance. If you’re in a new town or going through a major transition like I was, now is the time! Your life just blew up and a new thing is happening! Aren’t you curious to see what it could be?

2. Keep an open mind. Here’s what I mean: if I try something (e.g. a class, a meet up group, a new sport) and it turns out not to be a good fit, I don’t see the experience as a waste of time. Instead, I feel grateful that I checked it off my list and can move on from it quickly to the next thing. Knowing what I don’t like is just as important as knowing what I do. It’s like when we were kids and our parents forced us to take “at least one bite” of a new food. How do you know if you like it or not until you try it? As long as an idea matches up with my values, I’m here for it. At least once. Where do I sign up?

3. Find the exit. This is the most important thing of all: I have learned to feel in my body when something is not meant for me. I get it wrong sometimes, but I’m a lot better at it than I used to be. If I feel dread about going somewhere or doing something, I know that I shouldn’t have committed to it or enrolled in the opportunity. The next time I get an idea or an invitation and it makes me feel that way, I will politely decline. That invitation was apparently not meant for me because it didn’t bring me joy.

   On the other hand, if I feel a super high vibration of frantic energy or urgency when I see an opportunity to connect, I also know that’s not meant for me. I am likely wanting to impress someone, people-please or get into perfectionist mode when I feel that way. A who’s who event is likely not for me. I know myself. I will be too temped to hustle. I’ll be concerned about people-pleasing, fitting in and attempting to be “perfect” in that environment and it will wear me out. I stick to things that feel truly aligned for me. I have learned how to tune into my body for that because my mind will deceive me real quick.

   Again, I get it wrong sometimes, but tuning into my body has been one of my best guides in life. I only wish I knew how to trust it sooner. I usually feel things in my gut, but some people feel a tightening in their throats or the hairs stand up on their arms. Pay attention. Where do you feel your body guiding you?

4. Make yourself useful. Sometimes, instead of asking “Where do I belong?” I asked, “How can I help?” Being of service to others is one of the best ways I know of to find connection and change a life — quite possibly your own. Around the same time I was going through that big life transition, I participated in my very first Habitat for Humanity build. I ended up meeting so many wonderful people across several generations and nationalities. I’ve gone back to build annually for nearly ten years. I make true connections and I learn a few new skills (no previous experience required). If you need someone to hang insulation, calk or install windows in your home, I’m your girl. 😉

“Being of service to others is one of the best ways I know of to find connection and change a life — quite possibly your own.”

Welp, that’s about all I know. This journey of building community is trial and error. There are no quick fixes in that list; rather, a few ideas that will maybe resonate with you about how to feel your way through a new stage in your life.

I’ll list the groups I mentioned in my Living with Landyn Instagram takeover below. Some of the things I’m involved in offer virtual events and classes, so even if you’re not in Nashville, you can participate. Obviously, don’t feel any pressure to do the things I love. These are some of the things that light me up. You will find what lights you up. When you do, will you please let me know in comments? I would LOVE to know how you’re connecting in your communities!

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A few of my favorite things…

The Estuary — A non-profit spiritual healing center located in Nashville. They have an office in Nashville for local in-person offerings. They also offer virtual classes, workshops and counseling for integrative therapy.

The Liberated Eater — An online wellness community to help you trust your body, led by intuitive eating coach, Cindy Landham. Cindy is absolutely fabulous at what she does. Her business is head quartered in Murfreesboro, TN, but she reaches people worldwide through her online workshop and virtual coaching.

The Nashville Rowing Club — Beginner lessons and Master Rowing Club. Hey, if you’re in Nashville or ever find yourself visiting, check ‘em out!

Jazzercise — Not your grandma’s workout! For real. Mary Helen is the JAM here in Nashville. Her classes are mostly women of all ages, but several husbands come on the reg. There are franchises worldwide and probably in your area. If you want to experience the magic of Mary Helen, but you’re not local to Nashville or don’t want to come in-person, maybe Mary Helen will let you take the virtual option through her franchise? It’s worth checking out.

Habitat for Humanity — A nonprofit organization that helps people in your community and around the world build or improve a place they can call home.

NSAI (Nashville Songwriters Association International) — NSAI is the first stop for aspiring and professional songwriters. I served two terms on the board of directors for this organization. (Oh! That reminds me: Board service. That’s another great way to connect in your community!) NSAI is a fantastic way to get connected for songwriters of all levels and, really, for anyone new to town wanting to get into the music business. The organization offers a variety of tools, coaching, and networking, plus a strong presence on The Hill fighting for creator’s intellectual property rights.